hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
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