Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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