How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Sex with a fat chick.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
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i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
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I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.