We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog