Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Also, beer. Big fan.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring