just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
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Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
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The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize