I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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