In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
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Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
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That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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