just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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