his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I checked into jail on foursquare
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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