all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Someone came in the potted fern
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
