I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
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I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
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I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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