Got a toothbrush?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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