Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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