(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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