even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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