ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
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Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
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My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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