Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
