I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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