Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
