I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize