I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
