i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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