I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize