If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Come share oat with me in your robe
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