i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize