she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
