I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
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Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
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Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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