Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Boobs are out for the taking
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
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