forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
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Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
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Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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