is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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