You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
God, I missed his penis.
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