Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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