Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
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There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
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Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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