No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she peed on how many people?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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