"it" just moved
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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