After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
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It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
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Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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