I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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