Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
