The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.