The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
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Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
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Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
wow bdsm is so cute
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