last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize