After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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