Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.