I cockslap morals
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
50% drunk capacity currently
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
