everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize