So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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