yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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