don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
