During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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