Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
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last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
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I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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