i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
