i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize